Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Inside My Weekend
Up early - 4am
Saturday
Slept in
Friday, July 31, 2009
The Truth About the Lies We Tell Our Kids
To lie has become as American as apple pie. We lie to protect ourselves; we lie to promote ourselves. We lie to elevate ourselves; we lie to excuse ourselves. Soon after we learned how to walk, we learned how to lie (“I didn’t do it.”) Later in life, we’ll tell money lies (“The check is in the mail”), math lies (“I just turned 39”), and work lies (“I can’t come in to work today, I’m sick”).
While every lie has its consequence, the most damaging lies of all are the ones we tell our kids. Why? Because they erode our credibility and distort their reality. I’ve seen hundreds of kids as a psychologist and I’ve concluded that while unhealthy behavior prompted the trip to my office, unhealthy beliefs lie at the heart of the behavior. Beliefs determine behaviors. Unhealthy behaviors are based on unhealthy beliefs— change the beliefs and you change the behaviors. Unfortunately, we become what we believe.
Our purposes may be noble, but we lie to our kids for three main reasons. First, to help them make sense out of their circumstances (that’s okay honey; he wasn’t good for you anyway). Secondly to bring assurance to their anxieties (looks don’t matter; it’s what’s inside that counts) and finally, to inspire them to reach beyond their limits (if you can dream it, you can do it). The problem is— none of these are true. Each contains a little bit of fact and a little bit of fiction.
Lies We Tell Our Kids
Lie #1: You can be anything you want to be. It’s a belief that’s fashionable, but is it factual? Seventy-five percent of parents think so. So can you teach a bird to swim or a fish to fly? Of course not. It’s a lie that’s based on a belief that desires produce dreams. They don’t. Desire may direct your choice, training may develop your mind and motivation may fuel your fire, but ultimately the difference between average and awesome is ability. God created each of us unique. Could Beethoven carve a statue like Michelangelo? Could Mozart draw like Picasso? Could Picasso become an accountant? The numbers just wouldn’t line up. Literally. As a parent, my job is to help my children discover and develop the unique gifts that God has invested in them. Kids cannot be anything they want to be, but they can do the most with what they’ve got and do it in a way that nobody has ever seen before.
Lie #2: It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose; it’s how you play the game. Then why does everybody keep score? In school, in sports and in the workplace— everyone keeps score.
A few years ago, the Dallas Mavericks of the NBA spent millions of dollars on an eight-sided, 360-degree electronic scoreboard. Why? Because in the NBA, they keep score. Do the Mavericks have some of the nicest guys on the court? Yes. But did they score fewer points than the Miami Heat when they played in the NBA playoffs a few years ago? Yes. As a result,
I’m not saying that character doesn’t matter. It does. As a parent, if I could only pick one, I’d choose character over competence any day, but I live in a world where both are important. Parents are missing the mark if they teach their kids that score doesn’t matter.
In the classroom those with the highest grades succeed, those with the lowest stumble. On the court, those with the most points move on, those with the least move over. My point? Winning isn’t everything, but the score is kept for a reason. As a parent, teach your kids to keep one eye on their character, one eye on their competence— and one eye on the scoreboard.
Lie # 3: Looks don’t matter; it’s what’s on the inside that counts. God may look at the inside, but the research demonstrates that He may be the only one.
My message to parents? Once again, character matters most, but telling our kids that appearance is irrelevant is a lie that will cost them academically, socially and vocationally. Appearance is important and first impressions are unforgettable. Work with your kids to make appearance count— not cost.
The truth is, I’ve been a Pinocchio Parent just like you. These lies slid off the tip of my tongue without examining the truth or the consequences. Today, I’m committed to telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth… so help me God.
Dr. Chuck Borsellino is a clinical psychologist and host of the nationally syndicated television program At Home Live! With Chuck & Jenni which airs on the FamilyNet television network. Dr. Borsellino resides in
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Trusting God When Things Go Wrong
Does God care more about our obedience—or about our trusting Him? They often go hand-in-hand, but many students carry with them a kind of black-and-white view of God that their behavior is what matters most to Him. Yes, they know He loves them in spite of their sin—but they also believe He cares most about them NOT sinning.
But even in the Old Testament—with God’s people living under His very specific instructions—what He often seems most offended by when that fail is that they don’t trust Him. He sounds most angry that they are not convinced about His love, His power, or His goodness, as evidenced by their disobedience.
When coupled with our New Testament understanding of God, we see that He is a Father who cares deeply that His children take Him at His word, believe that He cares for them, and trust His ability to meet their needs.
We’re pulling our talking points this week from Numbers 20:2-13 with the hope of encouraging students to look beyond a simple right-versus-wrong view of God and to see Him as a person who cares deeply about whether they trust Him or not. It may be helpful to read this quick story with or without your child before looking for a good time to talk about these questions.
Talking Points
- What are some of the different ways people can respond when something really terrible happens?
- How about in our family? Do we tend to get scared? Angry? Frustrated? Or do we ever choose a more positive response?
- A story in Numbers 20 describes the Israelites, still wandering in the wilderness, coming to a town in the desert where they probably expected to find water for them and their kids and their animals. Instead, the place was dry. If something didn’t change, lots of people could have died. How do you think they responded?
- The first thing the Israelites did was to get angry with their leaders, fighting with Moses and challenging his choices. Have you ever noticed that people often look for someone to blame when bad things happen?
- Do you think we ever tend to try to blame others for bad things, even if it really isn’t that person’s fault? What does that response say about who we are trusting to keep bad things from happening to us?
- The story describes how the complaining Israelites made a list of other things that had gone wrong for them. Have you noticed that when things go wrong, people tend to make lists of all the wrong things in their lives?
- The Israelites had been in a very similar situation before—and God had miraculously provided them with water. He’d also done miracles like keeping their shoes from wearing out, parting the Red Sea to save them from the Egyptians, and sending food to them in the middle of the desert year after year. Why do you think we don’t tend to remember all the good things God has given to us when bad things happen?
- Do you think that’s something we can control? Can we choose what list we will make—the bad things list or the good things list? How does the list we choose show what we think about the goodness and trustworthiness of God?
- Moses and Aaron responded to the disaster by going to God to ask for His help. How does our choice to pray or not to pray when something terrible happens show whether we really trust God or not?
- God gave Moses and Aaron very specific instructions for how He would provide water for the people. Moses was supposed to talk to a rock, but he got angry and hit the rock, instead. God punished him and Aaron for that. Why do you think it matters to God so much that we do exactly what He tells us to do? Do you ever wonder if He’s just on a power trip, just wanting to control everyone?
- Here’s what He told Moses was the reason He cared that Moses didn’t do exactly as God had said: “Because you did not trust in me enough . . .” How does partial obedience to God show that we don’t really trust Him? How does full obedience show that we really trust Him?
- What do you think God cares most about—that we do exactly what He tells us to down to the last detail or that we trust His heart as right and good and strong and loving? Have you ever thought about God loving you in a way that cares that you believe Him, that cares what you think about Him as your Father?
- We can obey God because we trust Him and believe He will always do what’s best for us. What are some other reasons people might obey God? Do you think some obey out of pride? Out of selfish fear? Out of defeat?
- Do you think it matters why we obey God?
- What are some areas of your life where you’d like to be able to trust better that God is right, that He loves you, or that He’s powerful enough to do what He says He will do for you?
- Do you ever think of disobeying God as not trusting Him?
Monday, July 27, 2009
Inside My Weekend
Day off
Worked on 24.7 Falll Messages until 1am
Saturday
Up early
Sunday
Church
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
What I wish someone told me about youth ministry…
This was a blog that I get from a youth pastor that I follow and thought it was worth sharing.
1. It’s very emotional, unlike any other job. You’ll experience the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows.
2. It’s very messy, and always will be as long as you work with people who are just as imperfect and sinful as you are.
3. It’s constantly changing. Youth culture never stays the same from year to year, and neither do the kids, values, nor worldviews. Youth ministry must always morph along with it. As soon as you think you have a handle on it, think again.
4. It requires strong vision casting. Any leadership position does, but leadership in youth ministry does especially. Your leaders, teens, parents, church and community all depend on it.
5. Don’t think you need to do it all. In fact, the ministry is healthier when you enable others to serve instead of taking responsibility for every youth event, trip, fundraiser, small group, idea, and strategy that furthers the vision.
6. No matter what people at your new church say, don’t make deep rooted changes in the ministry until after two years of building trust and respect.
7. Live a life that is above reproach in everything. Eventually even “little things” will come to light and you will be held to a higher level of accountability for it.
8. Kids really don’t care how “cool” you are or how well you know scripture as much as they care about how much you love them as individuals, not as a group.
9. Have a firm grasp on what your values are in ministry and make sure they’re are aligned with a church’s written and unwritten values before accepting a paid youth ministry position there.
10. Don’t be too discouraged if you don’t see results and life-change take place right away. Sometimes it takes years, and even then you won’t always hear about it.
What do you wish someone would’ve told you about youth ministry before you got started?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009

When you started out as a parent, chances are you felt completely unprepared to deal with the challenges of a child. But at some point in your journey, you've probably found yourself feeling confident in your parenting role and abilities. The routine and predictability of your child's life became manageable and fairly easy to navigate. Now that your child is a teenager (or soon-to-be a teen), you may be feeling overwhelmed at times with fear, confusion, frustration, and a lack of understanding. It almost feels like you're starting all over with a screaming, needy, and sometimes whiny child (only much taller and with more attitude!).
The changes of adolescence, while normal for every teen, feel completely abnormal to parents of teenagers, often leaving you feeling like a helpless bystander. But you're not alone and there is hope to help you (and your teen) get through these challenging, changing years.
For more than 30 years, Dr. Walt Mueller has studied adolescents and the culture that surrounds them. His expertise was put to the test when his own children became teenagers. Now he's bringing wisdom from research and his own experience to help other parents through the tumultous years of adolescence.
With empathy and practical tools, this book will help you understand the changes your teen is experiencing, and help you effectively parent them as you explore how to:
- create a smoother adolescent period for your teen
- begin to break through the walls of confusion, fear, frustration, and misunderstanding
- be a positive and proactive bridge-builder into the life and world of your teenager
Regain the confidence you once felt as a parent, and create a parent-teen relationship that helps your teen (and you) get through these change-filled years successfully.
Brand New! Coming May 2009!
Accepting Pre-orders now. Click here to order.
Books will be shipped in early May.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Boundaries with Teens // theparentlink

In this exciting new book, Dr. Townsend gives important keys for establishing healthy boundaries—the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for teens and the adults in their lives. The book offers help in raising your teens to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions.
http://www.realworldparents.com/store/item/boundaries_with_teens/
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Leaders Devo // Leaders Seek the Guidance of God
"A leader never lets adversity get him down-except on his knees." -Jim Williams
Everyone depends on the leader for answers. "Where do we go next?" What's our goial?" "Should we move ahead or wait?" It's the leader who must make the decision, sometime choosing between the greater of two goods or the lesser of two evils. Effective leaders have learned this secret of leadership: they are not alone. When forced to make tough choices, theu seek the counsel of the One greater than themsleves. They seek the guidance of God.
Competence, skill, and intelligence - all of these are important attributes forleadership. But there is one greater: faith. Truly great leaders believe in someone greater than themselves, and they express that belief in regualr times of reflection and devotion.
Their times of prayer signify a spiritual relationship with the Almighty that makes them feel accepted and loved, even when their associates or peers have abandoned them.
To them, prayer is not a way out. It is a way through. The strength that is derived from communication with God sustains them through times of adversity.
Leaders have a spiritual support system.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
BEFORE GRADUATION

Proverbs 22:6
Sometime in spring each year, I hear myself say, “It’s almost over.” I note that another school year is coming to an end. Because I have ministered with young people most of my life, every year I approach May and June with mixed emotions. I know how exciting it is to be finished with teachers, classes, and homework and to look forward to a summer of fun. And for high school graduates, the future seems exciting, filled with potential. But I also know of the shipwrecked lives—kids who never even make it to summer because of unrestrained celebrations at proms and other parties. It seems like every year we read of carloads of kids who are killed through drinking and driving, and other tragedies.
And as I watch seniors (Lisa, Whit, etc..) walk across the stage to receive their diplomas, I know that they will be headed for the whole range of ups and downs as they make the precarious transition into adulthood. Our future as a nation truly does rest with this generation, and I wonder what that future will hold.
I also wonder about the kind of world we are giving them. Truly my generation has made many great contributions, but we have also formed a society based on self-centeredness, materialism, and greed. It’s a violent world, filled with guns, crime, abortion, and abuse. Despite the progress and the optimism of the ’60s and ’70s, racism is on the rise again. Personal freedom and choice have come to mean that a person should have the right to do almost anything he or she wants . . . with no restraints. Families are falling apart. In addition, the obviously twisted and abnormal homosexual lifestyle is being touted as normal. And this generation has been trying its best to purge public life of every trace of biblical faith.
It’s not a pretty sight, but it’s not hopeless. There is time to change the direction . . . but it must begin with our children.
This is a good time to think about our kids . . . of all ages. We need to reach them now—we dare not wait until graduation. What are we doing to teach them the right values?
What are we doing to motivate them to serve others? What are we doing to heal their pain and meet their needs? What are we doing to lead them to Christ?
Think of what you can do to reach this generation. There is no better investment of your life.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
TV or the Internet // theparentlink

Among children and teens who play video games, nearly one in 10 shows multiple signs of being addicted, according to Iowa State University researcher Doug Gentile. His new study reveals that about 8.5% of game-playing youth demonstrated at least six of 11 "addiction" symptoms, ranging from skipping chores to play, to lying about how much they play, to stealing money to buy a game. Nancy Shute, a parenting blogger for U.S. News & World Report, believes the study confirms what most folks already recognize. "The bottom line: You already know if gaming is causing problems for your child and your family," she writes. "And if it is, you know the solution, too."
Monday, April 27, 2009
Inside My Weekend
½ day in the office: Final Planning for Vision Retreat
Picked up Colin and went swimming in the pool
Final prep before students and team arrive
Vision Retreat
Dunkin
Dunkin Doughnuts and Banana Splits
Finished 10:30
Saturday
Up Early
Vision Retreat 8:30 (awesome students)
Pizza for Lunch
Rest (Watched the NFL Draft)
Work on Pool (hose burst)
A little swim and then dinner at a local Mexican restaurant
Move: The Mummy III
Bed Time
Sunday
Up Early
prepped the visuals for the morning services
Left for the church at 8:15
Hung out in the middle school study
Lunch at Ruby Tuesday's
Made a visit to a student's home
Dinner with the Cuellar's at our home
In Bed Early
Thursday, April 23, 2009
STUFF: Trash Message Highlights

We are in 2nd week of STUFF….seeing what we can learn about life from everyday stuff. Here’s what I know about trash:
· The longer you wait, the nastier the job becomes!
Life is kinda the same way….we all have ‘trash’ in our lives that really doesn’t belong. We need to be willing to take out our trash otherwise it piles up and starts to stink! And…the longer we wait, the nastier and harder the job becomes!
The first step in taking out the trash is to look at the trash container! (trash can/us).
Take a LOOK
Psalms 139:23-24
With others
Take out a LOAD
I John 1:9
But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.
Tell others you’re sorry
Make the change
Repeat the process a LOT!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Inside My Weekend
½ day in the office: Financial Meeting, Meeting with Construction Company
Lunch with my son and Beef O Bradys (wings)
Finished getting the pool ready to open
Went to dinner and the mall
Bought the final items needed for Baby Grace's room at Target
Saturday
T-Ball game at 9:00
At the church at 10:00 to meet with the tent company
Set up tent, chairs and prepped sound for Sunday
Sunday
Up Early
Left for the church at 7:30
Thursday, April 16, 2009
STUFF: Toothpaste Message Highlights

Tonight, we are kicking off a new series called STUFF.
We’re going to take a look at some common, household stuff and see what we can learn from it. To get us started, we are going to see what we can learn about life from my arch-enemy…THE TOOTHPASTE TUBE!
Mouths are like a toothpaste tube
What comes out can never be put back in
- Saying words you shouldn’t
- making promises you can’t keep
- exaggerating
- bragging
- lying
- gossiping
- etc.
- James 1:19
- Proverbs 15:1
- Matthew 5:37
Thursday, February 12, 2009
PARENTS: Check out this email from Ron Luce

Sunday, February 8, 2009
Youtube
But the Internet is a special case because in an instant, students can take it anywhere—from the most innocent children’s game to the most vile adult content. That’s why YouTube is especially dangerous. It’s incredibly popular, and it bridges the gap between innocent and insidious, making it so easy for pure intentions to wander into temptations and sin.
A new study by the Parent’s Television Council proved just that. It found that explicit content is many times only one click away from children. Even sample searches on YouTube for child-friendly topics like “Miley Cyrus” led to offensive content, and many blatantly pornographic videos did not require any form of age verification. In other words, your kids can—and probably already have—gone on YouTube to watch a perfectly innocent video, and without even trying, they were exposed to much more than you wanted them to see.
We cannot be stand-offish about what our kids are doing online. It is a cultural battleground and we too often let them wander right into the middle of it! Here are a few steps you can take to protect your teens:
Talk with your teens about the dangers of the Internet.
Teach them to “run at first glance” if they ever come across something questionable, even if they weren’t looking for it.
Keep computers in open, public places, like the living room. This is the easiest and best way to protect your entire family because it keeps everyone accountable.
Use an internet filtering service like safeeyes
Build open relationships with your teens by spending quality time with them every day.
And please pray with me for God’s protection and blessing over our young people and children.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Dating. Boundaries Message Highlights
Boundary #1
The Person must be born again.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
The word “Yoke” means to be bound together in comment to one another. When two animals are yoked together and one turns left the other has to turn left. It is critical that you walk with people that are going in the same direction.
Boundary #2
The person must have the same commitment to sexual purity.
Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
They must have had this commitment before you showed up…not because you showed up.
Boundary #3
The Person must respect you.
Does this person treat you with dignity, purity, honor, and respect? If not move on!
4 Ways to avoid sexual Temptation
1. Avoid the places of Temptation: Romans 13:14
· If you are around friends that tempt you – Get new friends
· If certain movies arouse temptation – Change what you watch
· Don’t be alone – Stay in public
2. Purpose to remain pure: Daniel 1:8
· You must decide upfront to remain pure
4. Hide God’s word in your heart
Monday, February 2, 2009
Inside My Weekend
½ day in the office
½ day meeting with engineer and architect
Went to dinner with family at cracker barrel
Rented a video game (hot wheels racing)
Watched History Channel
Bed
Saturday
Slept In
Worked on Finances
Cleaned up the Jeep
Went to dinner with Family to Friends House (the Cuellar’s)
Stopped in at Toys R Us in Melbourne
Home Late
Sunday
Up Early
Prepared Pastor’s Final Message for Presentation
Burned DVD’s for Adults and Students that were baptized
Worship – AWESOME!
Lunch at Ruby Tuesday’s
Afternoon nap (30 minutes)
Took our son (Colin) to a birthday party
Popped in on our high school lifegroup
Watched the Superbowl at the Romer’s
Bed
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Battle fo the Burgers // BIG EVENT
Remember the key to a good print piece is quality and info! At 24.7 our quality comes from our worship pastor, Ron Gehrke. Ron, is one of the most talented graphic designers I have ever worked with. In our creative meetings every Thursday morning, we layout waht is needed for design and Ron works his magic.
Our info comes from a mixture of staff, interns and students. We mainly create pieces in our creative meeting, but there are times info is added in an intern meeting or simply sitting down with a student and listening to what he/she thinks would convey our message.
Note: We try to make our promo pieces different sizes but we always make them small enough to put in their pocket unless it is a mailer.
I have added a sample of a print piece we did this fall from one of our big events (battle of the burgers) and links to a few print companies we use.

Thursday, January 15, 2009
Video Game: Call of Duty: World at War
Background/summary:This World War II first person shooter game released in November of 2008. The game is a highly anticipated sequel in the famed Call of Duty series that has already made four very successful games, including the most recent Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, which made monumental strides in weaponry, combat technology, and Internet multiplayer gaming. The rating on World at War by the ESRB is “Mature,” due to graphic shooting violence. Nevertheless, this game proves to be a big hit amongst players of all ages, as evidenced by the near-constant 100,000+ gamers playing the Xbox Live online multiplayer at any given time.
Discover: What is the message/worldview?
• The main storyline of this game involves two theaters of World War II, fighting as an American marine in the Pacific theater (against the Japanese) and as a Russian in the European theater (against the Germans).
• As you progress through the game, there are a series of cut-scenes that enact various storyline pieces and introduce the player to the tasks he/she must complete. The cut scenes show everything from brutal executions to triumphal rescues, depending on location in the storyline.
• Because of the war setting, bad language and bloody violence are prevalent throughout the game. Although this may seem a bit excessive, it does grasp some of the reality experienced by real soldiers, so is at least within context.
• The real reason gamer’s love the COD series is the online multiplayer,particularly through Xbox Live on the Xbox360 system. This allows players an unlimited supply of real human competition in various game modes including capture the flag, “war,” search and destroy, etc. These various game modes, coupled with an addictive “challenge” system that allows gamers to unlock new weapons and game features, keep even seasoned veterans coming back for more.
• While most games pride themselves on a 30-hour total game play, World at War has individuals logging exponentially more hours due to the constant desire to “rank up” through the online multiplayer challenges.
• The overall worldview of the game is one of war and carnage, but with an underlying theme that perseverance through trials ultimately can prevail.
